12.19.2011

In Celebration of Nothing



I haven't celebrated what we call "Christmas" in quite awhile.  It all started on Christmas a few years ago, when I was sitting in relative's house...again, and feeling quite hallow.  I realized that I didn't want to be there.  I didn't want to do the fake family gathering thing anymore.  In fact, every family holiday had become some strange repetitive ritual, it was that thing that happened every year, the same way every year, that began to lack any real meaning except that family was suppose to attend.  I had grown out of the Christmas gift giving rut a long time ago.   Let's just face it, people are either excited or disappointed in gifts that will be either returned or turned into background noise called our stuff in a couple of months.  It just seemed so odd to me.  As the children went screaming through the house with glee over new toys that I knew would be abandoned in a few months or even weeks, everything in that moment seemed so crystal clear for me-- I'd rather be on the beach in Maui.  Now, I had personally abandoned Christianity many years prior because of historical factors that made following such a religion, or any religion for that matter, simply impossible for me. Note, I don't knock anyone who needs religion, if that is where you are, so be it. I really don't care what you believe in because I love you just the same.  However,  I do not worship or pray to anyone or anything nor do I adhere to any belief system because I know I don't have too, yet I walk in gratitude in honor of EVERYTHING around me because I know we are all one in LOVE without judgment, thus there is no judgment day.


That said, Christmas, as for a lot of Christian holidays, is really another celebration that has been hijacked, repackaged, re-branded and renamed by the Roman Catholic Church, this time the Winter Solstice.   No, Jesus was not born on December 25, the Roman Catholic Church decided that date. Even Santa Claus is a derivative of St. Nicholas, a Roman Catholic saint, which means no matter which way you turn, all roads continue to lead to Rome who used Christianity to gain what they believe was power all over the world.  And that is the very short version.  When I gave up Christmas, which used to be my favorite holiday as a child, and to be honest I still listen to Christmas music but just don't adhere to any of it, it freed me to do whatever I wanted to do on that day.  And because I celebrate nothing, I can experience everything, so for the past few years, without planning anything, I've done something different.  Last year I experienced the Feast of the Seven Fishes (well we only had four:-) with some Italian (and Irish) friends.  The year before that I had a "Very Jewish Christmas" in which a friend and I feasted on Chinese food-- a very delectable Peking duck and went to see the movie Sherlock Holmes.  I even gave her a gift, because I was a guest at her house, in which she asked me for nothing in return, so it was more like a thank you than anything else. This year, I will be dog-sitting, maybe cooking something scrumptious and writing in solitude because that is really what I want to do, unless something pops up, and I choose to be whisked off on some other adventure. Who knows, anything can happen!

So, for many years now, much to my delight, I have done exactly what I've wanted to do. In fact, I really don't celebrate any holiday and my birthday for me is a day for honoring the body in which no one really has to be involved in that but me.  I have unhooked from the hustle and bustle of all holiday shopping, and the expectations that come along with family gatherings, I cook what I want, when I want, if I want, I am only around those I want to be around and I give and receive grace on a daily basis. And guess what?  I am not destitute or lonely.  I am truly happy, because I am living from a place of truth, I take ownership of my choices without blame or praise and I am in bliss because of what I have found within.  See, when you have found the trueness of your being everything comes in quick focus and in harmony with what is, and that is where I stand. One thing I have learned is that no matter the "season," it is the journey in the fulfillment of one's choices that makes life what it is. 
 

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